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no, i dont need no help i can sabotage me by myself
you know when you just like, don't do the things you want to do?
like you spend every day thinking about doing it, not doing it, and being angry that you're not doing it. anyone know how sick of your own bullshit you have to be to stop the bullshit?
i still havent talked to alyssa. i am still writing her messages in the notes app on my phone. do you know how hard it is to talk to someone about a parent you share when only one of you actually knew that parent?
i want this incredibly nuanced situation to be simple. it isnt. "our dad" feels sour to even think, but how else do you capture that shared connection? everything else i try feels like im making more distance between us which is just as wrong and then my brain shuts off because what else is left then, but nothing
like you spend every day thinking about doing it, not doing it, and being angry that you're not doing it. anyone know how sick of your own bullshit you have to be to stop the bullshit?
i still havent talked to alyssa. i am still writing her messages in the notes app on my phone. do you know how hard it is to talk to someone about a parent you share when only one of you actually knew that parent?
i want this incredibly nuanced situation to be simple. it isnt. "our dad" feels sour to even think, but how else do you capture that shared connection? everything else i try feels like im making more distance between us which is just as wrong and then my brain shuts off because what else is left then, but nothing
no subject
concerning everything else - i cannot imagine. that is.... that must be so difficult. i am sorry that life can be so insanely complicated and heavy sometimes. i hope things get easier. i'm proud of you for at least writing things down; that is insanely therapeutic. hopefully it can help you make sense of things. ♥