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ya me neither
remember when i used to journal here???
my mom does this thing where she thinks she knows who i am and what i'm like and knows so well that in fact she knows better than i do about events in my life. these things vary from ~knowing~ that i received more compliments on my hair when i was a kid than i do now (this one would be funny if the habit wasn't so deeply annoying) to how long i went to university.
she was so confident that i only went one semester jan-april, that she almost blew a gasket in our therapists office because i refused to relent. and i refused to relent because i was at that stupid school for a year and a half (3 semesters) and i remember every second of the exhausting experience.
i cant even remember what he asked initially (bc i was still trying to think of solid proof i could use to make my mom believe that my memory of my experience is more correct than hers) something about school and career shit choosing what you'd like to do or whatever, basically kill me, but then our therapist asked if i trust myself, which, i do but also i don't at all.
i just think it's hard to trust your judgment of, like, anything when your mom has been telling you your entire life that you're wrong and getting angry when you won't admit to being wrong even when it turns out that you are provably right!!
i took latin, which is a year long course which you can ONLY take starting in september (she apologised and i don't feel better)
she's been having stress nightmares about my job placement not getting renewed bc she's worried about that, despite the fact that i, the person actually in the situation is chill and not worried about it. and i think that is again her not trusting that i can?? handle being unemployed? find another job? or something? just, not trusting me
i'm soooooo tired man wtf
my mom does this thing where she thinks she knows who i am and what i'm like and knows so well that in fact she knows better than i do about events in my life. these things vary from ~knowing~ that i received more compliments on my hair when i was a kid than i do now (this one would be funny if the habit wasn't so deeply annoying) to how long i went to university.
she was so confident that i only went one semester jan-april, that she almost blew a gasket in our therapists office because i refused to relent. and i refused to relent because i was at that stupid school for a year and a half (3 semesters) and i remember every second of the exhausting experience.
i cant even remember what he asked initially (bc i was still trying to think of solid proof i could use to make my mom believe that my memory of my experience is more correct than hers) something about school and career shit choosing what you'd like to do or whatever, basically kill me, but then our therapist asked if i trust myself, which, i do but also i don't at all.
i just think it's hard to trust your judgment of, like, anything when your mom has been telling you your entire life that you're wrong and getting angry when you won't admit to being wrong even when it turns out that you are provably right!!
i took latin, which is a year long course which you can ONLY take starting in september (she apologised and i don't feel better)
she's been having stress nightmares about my job placement not getting renewed bc she's worried about that, despite the fact that i, the person actually in the situation is chill and not worried about it. and i think that is again her not trusting that i can?? handle being unemployed? find another job? or something? just, not trusting me
i'm soooooo tired man wtf