hands touch

how have changes in your aries house over the past two years shown you the reality of what you can and cannot do on your own
what goals and obligations now require you to enlist help and cooperation
how is this moment requiring you to cultivate a tolerance for your differences
what expectations have you internalized about how you should relate to your own body and feelings
how have these expectations impacted how you define and engage intimately with others

aries is my 8th house (death, debt, loss, interdependence, communal living, inheritance, other peoples resources)

it never fails to be funny to me how well astrology works, i've been living on my own for the first time in my life for the last year and a half after the messy ass ending of one of my longest friendships, i got the ugly side of living with a friend, which i guess is good to know.

it's been a lot of up and down, last winter i misinterpreted how long my employment insurance would cover me for, so having my rent doubled due to not splitting it with anyone anymore became more pressing than i had anticipated (i also lost the job i'd been at for 5 years right after covid first hit) and honestly as horrible as that felt, the support i got from my friends and family was a really nice way to remember how easy it can be to be cared for after trying and failing to connect with someone who i really don't think wanted to connect with me despite what she said about the matter.

i landed a job in accounting again (which also feels very 8h, literally all i do all day is deal with other peoples money) by letting people help me, my mom's bestie is the head of the department and asked my mom to pass on to me that they were looking to fill the position i had at that company 8 years ago. its interesting going back to the job you had at 22 when you're 30, it used to stress me out so much being responsible for so much money like i was so worried that i personally was going to be responsible for millions of dollars ending up in the wrong place? like wake up in cold sweat on saturday morning worried i'd over slept? and now i'm idk i understand better that very rarely is a mistake unfixable, and also the point of having a team of people in AP is that its never just one persons eyes on payments, and also.... its not my money so like ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

idk i think i've always had a pretty high tolerance for being different from people around me (shout out to adoption ig lol) but its an, unusual, maybe unsettling? feeling to realise how different you are now than you used to be? i spent a lot of my time unemployed just like, thinking about how sometimes it feels like ive already been alive for 1000 years because how else have so many versions of myself had time to exist?

how strange is it that there are so many krises who i understand but can't relate to anymore, in between krises who are half my age but better understand who i am and what i want right now, than a kris from two years ago did? idk i guess i expected life to be more linear a more straight forward progression but i dont think that's been my experience at all, its complicated and im constantly forgetting how to hold on to things i know things ive already learned, because i end up needing the same thing in different ways and in different situations, less a line and more a very complex and tangled up flowchart that circles back on itself like sixteen times. being alive is, more interesting i think, than i thought it was when i was younger, even when it's harder than i expected it would be